Zzzzzz In The City

Very clever, Gary Lightbody.

Yep, your band is all, you know, MASSIVE, now. So the comeback single - after you sealed everlasting wedding reception playlist ubiquity with 'Chasing Cars' - has to be MASSIVE, too.

But not too massive - just vaguely upbeat and memorable, so Radios' 1 and 2 will both play it, and you can still seal the deal (and a few hundred thousand album sales) in a couple of months, with a nice big ballad.

It worked last time for Snow Patrol, who used to be almost endearingly curious, if almost entirely unknown, and are now Coldplay without the nice guitar sounds.

'You're All I Have', the first cut from fourth album Eyes Open (took me ages to remember that title) was a catchy bit of pop-rock fluff, and the majority of the British population could probably sing it while unconscious.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it I guess.

Hence new single 'Take Back The City' is possibly the most cynically boring song written this year.

It's an easy formula to follow: strummed acoustic guitar with every ounce of life compressed out of it, so it sounds like a one-dimensional synthesiser. Bring the electric in for a few power chords in the chorus, but slice any edge off the distortion. Constant, almost idiotically simple bass-drum led beat.

Each verse uses precisely the same, inanely repeated melody, and such is the air of phoned-in, perfectly packaged INDIElite, that every fourth line Lightbody throws in a piss-weak 'woah-oah-oah' instead of actual lyrics. Woah what Gary?? Maybe someone gave him a little tickle in the recording booth.

And fill it with lyrics about how you love 'this city', and 'the fun never stops' , so it can be neatly applied to anyone in the country who has a bit of regional pride (so, most people). Lightbody could be singing about Glasgow, Manchester, hell even Gloucester.

Iglu & Hartly's recent top five single 'In This City', it could be argued, ploughs a similar 'easy target' demographic furrow. Sing about something everyone can relate to, and it's paydirt. Of course there's a place for that, if you're saying something interesting about it.

I&G's song, while far from lyrical genius, at least attempts to describe the transition from small town to conurbation and the conflicting feelings present. Lightbody deals solely in empty platitudes like "It's a mess / It's a start / It's a flowing work of art".

Of course, there's the obvious argument that complaining about Snow Patrol making middle-aged music solely for commercial gain is like being shocked at the executives of failed banks claiming their multi-million payoffs. It might be a horrible spectacle, but it's going to line their pockets, and what the hell else did you expect?

But that doesn't mean I'm going to listen to it. Try it if you like, I'm sure once will be enough...